Around this time last year, I was trying to decide whether to go to El Cajon for Winter Missions or not. I prayed that God would take me across California, because it would mean expanding my horizons, reaching out of my comfort zone and shining the Light alongside people I love. I was still planning the following year's Sunday School lessons for my precious 2nd-3rd graders, like "oooh they'll love this game," or "oooh I can use THIS prop when I'm telling THIS story during the winter quarter; the kids will LOVE this."
Around this time last year, my family had already started packing for relocation, but in the midst of studying for finals, practicing for worship team, editing my NaNo, I hadn't really understood that Christmas 2011 would mean a sudden and complete cutoff from what had been everyday constants to me. Sure, I could have told you that I was going to Hong Kong, but I hadn't grasped the fact that a month later, I would have no piano in my house, no worship team practice on Fridays, no Crossroads on Thursdays, no community colleges, no park day, etc etc.
Transition from suburbia to city life was way harder than I'd thought. We'd ended up not returning to the States during the summer. The only predictable thing about my life was school :P So I sulked for a bit. But only for a bit. Because then I began to see that God had answered my prayers explicitly and specifically, beyond anything I had prayed and hoped for.
I wanted to go across California? He took me across the Pacific Ocean. I wanted to expand my horizons, reach out of my comfort zone? He brought me into new places, new peoples, new foods, with new ways of seeing things, doing things, saying things; I'm getting used to seeing/hearing everything in three languages, taking public transport instead of our car. I wanted to shine the Light alongside people I love? He's brought some pretty incredible people along my path, and we've laughed together, cried together, sung together, studied together, served at VBS together, run away from a mob in Sham Shui Po together, etc. :P
I'm a daughter of the Most High. And my castle just happens to be Hong-Kong-shaped. ♥
My name is Faith, and that is my 2012.
Wednesday, December 12, 2012
Friday, April 6, 2012
What's in a heartbeat?
...a love song. That's what.
So last night I did something daring. I allowed myself to be wooed by the Creator. I surrendered myself to the whispers of the One whose words had the power to bring all the universe into existence.
And what can I say? It was thrilling.
They all say that there's nothing quite so exciting as a hot guy's affectionate embrace and muttered sweet nothingness into your ear. Well, I say, OBVIOUSLY you have never been cradled in the arms that stretched out on a cross just so that you could personally enjoy tender, intimate love and genuine peace and security.
Laying on my back in the middle of the night, I decided to ask a favor of my soul's Lover: Jesus, can you sing me a song?
For a minute I lay there in silence, wondering if that was something I was allowed to ask of Someone so powerful and mighty, who had so many bigger, more important things to think about....
And then I became fully aware of my heartbeat.
Lub-dub, lub-dub, lub-dub.
I caught my breath as I listened to the rhythmic thumping. Dear Lord, it's beautiful. Thank You for the song. Thank You for life.
Through the following morning, I conversed with Him on and off as I sat through classes, did a little homework, watched a few YouTube videos. Over lunch, I told Him all about my exams next month and how frustrating and overwhelming they felt. And He made me smile with His replies; the gentle lub-dubbing never ceasing.
And then I randomly collapsed in a mental breakdown. What a dumb interruption to a perfectly romantic day! It was like time froze for an despairing moment. I felt cornered by myself and other people. My palms went clammy, beads of moisture formed on my forehead. My words were utterly useless to me. My breath came inconsistent as I tried vainly agin and again to organized my scattered senses and to proceed with conversation/work/life.
The only and loudest sound I heard was lub-dub, lub-dub, lub-dub.
So last night I did something daring. I allowed myself to be wooed by the Creator. I surrendered myself to the whispers of the One whose words had the power to bring all the universe into existence.
And what can I say? It was thrilling.
They all say that there's nothing quite so exciting as a hot guy's affectionate embrace and muttered sweet nothingness into your ear. Well, I say, OBVIOUSLY you have never been cradled in the arms that stretched out on a cross just so that you could personally enjoy tender, intimate love and genuine peace and security.
Laying on my back in the middle of the night, I decided to ask a favor of my soul's Lover: Jesus, can you sing me a song?
For a minute I lay there in silence, wondering if that was something I was allowed to ask of Someone so powerful and mighty, who had so many bigger, more important things to think about....
And then I became fully aware of my heartbeat.
Lub-dub, lub-dub, lub-dub.
I caught my breath as I listened to the rhythmic thumping. Dear Lord, it's beautiful. Thank You for the song. Thank You for life.
Through the following morning, I conversed with Him on and off as I sat through classes, did a little homework, watched a few YouTube videos. Over lunch, I told Him all about my exams next month and how frustrating and overwhelming they felt. And He made me smile with His replies; the gentle lub-dubbing never ceasing.
And then I randomly collapsed in a mental breakdown. What a dumb interruption to a perfectly romantic day! It was like time froze for an despairing moment. I felt cornered by myself and other people. My palms went clammy, beads of moisture formed on my forehead. My words were utterly useless to me. My breath came inconsistent as I tried vainly agin and again to organized my scattered senses and to proceed with conversation/work/life.
The only and loudest sound I heard was lub-dub, lub-dub, lub-dub.
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